Posted byMeditation USAon July 1, 2020
I majored fine arts in college. As part of the curriculum for my major, I took photography courses and I was fascinated by the power of the famous photographers’ works. They had new perspectives that I had never seen before. Maybe because I had previously studied art, I was able to find my own vibe and gained much more confidence from my peers’ and professors’ compliments and encouragement. That confidence, however, soon deteriorated into my own personal obsession to be different and to create a style that was something all my own.
Escaping from the world of the artist’s ego that confined me
As I worked harder and harder to find my own unique voice in photography, I was moving further and further away from the reality. Working in photography made me disconnect from the very world with whom I was trying to communicate. I was trapped within my own world. A world that had strong attachments for my own greedy pictures. There was no one who could meet the standards of me and my ego, not even if they were my friends or family.
After I drove everybody away, I had to face reality: The world I built with my pictures, photos and art were beginning to close off my mind, and I realized it was like a tomb that confined me. The only way I could get out of this grave was to let go of all of my standards and preconceptions that I had built up in my mind.
I decided to start this meditation method. I put down my camera and the art studio for a whole year and I focused on cleaning my mind. Throughout the process, I realized I was fooled by the false perception I possessed of myself as being “cool.” As I removed those thoughts, my perspective and conscious expanded more and more.
The world without my camera – the world I discovered through meditating – truly showed me the things that I could not see before. There isn’t a thing in the true world that isn’t beautiful or precious, and it was truly enjoyable to see this world without any thoughts of my old discernment's.
Now I’m back to taking pictures. There are so many things that I’m excited to shoot and every moment that I’m photographing this world is comforting and natural. This moment of holding the camera again makes me truly grateful that I’m able to capture the world without any selfish need to look “cool.” Click!